WHAT DOES PINK BUBBLEGUM, SUNFLOWER SEEDS, & CHEWING ON FINGERNAILS HAVE IN COMMON? 

(yes this is a sports-related topic...keep reading!!!!)

What does Pink Bubble gum, sunflower seeds, & chewing on fingernails have in common?  Well they are all the tell tale signs of a middle school girl's sleepover…right???   Nope, guess again….I'm not talking about the girls sleepover party, instead these habits make up the common denominator of the oral fixation that the players on a baseball team have.

Seriously what is this fixation with the pink bubble gum????...maybe they are all secretly fixated on each other and need something in their mouths...well I guess in that case I'm glad they are chewing pink teenager bubblegum. You got to admit its looks terrible and most of all it really gives the viewer the impression that the player coming up to bat is just as nonchalant as a little girl with pig tails chomping on her gum chasing boys in the hallway at school.  Visuals of the movie Grease come to mind…the Pink Ladies –that was their trademark….teeny boppers….that's the image that the pink bubble gum conjures up in my mind.

So when A-Rod, this big fine sexy hunk of a man comes up for bat…I'm watching that big masculine body stretch and get into gear, I'm undressing him with my eyes as he bends over to touch his toes and as he swings his bat from side to side…as he approaches the plate…takes his stance… gets that sexy body into position to knock the shit outta that ball…. Then as my image is just right….as I see this man do his manly thing…he chomps hard on his pink bubble gum, takes a breath, sticks his tongue out surrounded by pink gum and blows a big pink bubble.  OMG he didn't just ruin my image….damn…he sure did.  That fine ass manly man just turned into a  pussy...cat.  Ugh trying to downplay the word I really wanted to use there..but you get my drift.

The oral fixation of baseball players.  Seems that they may all have been missing something as children…maybe they never got over the fact that their daddys wouldn't let them chew pink bubble gum…or maybe that's what makes baseball players great??  Maybe we should do a study on the number of baseball players who chew bubble gum, spit sunflower seeds, and chew on their fingernails to see how many of them have greater statistics than those players who don't do any of the above.   Oops can't do that …Why? Because I haven't seen a baseball player yet who doesn't have an oral fixation…Maybe being around balls and sticks all day makes them a little horny and this is their subconscious way of suppressing that secret sexual frustration...that urge to do something that they shouldn't….lol who knows….but it's the baseball way and seems like it will be that way till the end of time…or until they give in to those little secret urges.....